2/June/2011, Johannesburg Train/Bus Station (Park Station), Downtown JoBurg, South Africa
Sitting here at Nandos, the least offensive of the fine food offerings here at Park Station. The other options: badly overpriced, and just plain bad, fast food at Wimpys, the venerable South African McDonalds that makes the latter look like Peter Lugar's Steakhouse; the fish and chips joint the with mysteriously missing prices, and mysteriously missing line which both look like a sign to keep walking; and good ole South African meat pies and sausages at the Supermarket (which certainly plays into the theme of the particularly large badonkeydonk asses that keep parading past in tight jeans). This is certainly the last country on my culinary list of the world; a Thailand or India, this is not. I have heard stories about the historical reasons for the destruction of indigenous foods here in South Africa and their subsequent replacement with fast food and copious amounts of Coca Cola, but to live it as a traveler is quite depressing, as food says a whole hell of a lot about the culture in which its found. Even in Kenya, another country with a weaker-than-average offering list of local foods at least offered crappy food for a cheap price; here it is crap and extremely expensive crap, at that. (Bad food+expensive=bad placement on list). Only three more hours to kill here now, until I hopefully board a bus for the border and onwards. I do suppose, as my time here in South Africa draws to a close, that its time for a bit of reflection, a bit of the ole list game!! Here we go....lets keep with the Wild West Theme of Nando's and go with The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly....
The Good (in no particular order)
1. Rocklands. Absolutely amazing climbing, incredible scenery, hiking, camping, and awesome fellow climbers. Even the local watering hole in one-horse Clanwilliam was killer (who would have thought, the best pizza I've had in a long time would be in the middle of farmsville S.A.??). definitely the highlight of my time in S.A.
2. Cape Town Climbers: took me in, fed me, clothed me, (well, not really, but I did have a loaned sleeping bag and blanket get me through the cold-as-hell Rocklands nights in my tiny tent), drove me, and were just an awesomely accommodating local crew. Much love to Tristin, Rachel, Josh, and the whole gang. Good people. And killer barbecue masters.
3. Long Street Backpackers: a good spot; nice chill-out areas, a great balcony, good kitchen, not obnoxiously loud (despite my initial fears of the drunken management), clean sheets, and an awesome location. Not as good as the killer apartment I stayed in after Rocklands, but a close second.
4. The Shosholoza Express Train: it was delayed 4 hours, and I froze to everloving shit overnight (see previous) but hell, it was empty, comfortable, the scenery was amazing, and the window didnt shatter when the local kids pelted the train with baseball sized rocks. Bonus.
5. Cape Town: this is a bit more complex a classification; the city is beautiful, the setting unparalleled, a great European feel, but not what I expected whatsoever in an Africa City, and felt a distinct lack of soul as a result. Plus way too much petty crime for my taste, but still a positive place.
The Bad (again, in no particular order)
1. Local People: I'm not sure ive cracked the code of the “Rainbow Nation” but the only rainbow I've witnessed is the complete and utter indifference of the locals; the only true interactions I've had with locals/strangers has been the constant stream of beggars and hangers-on, who bring aggressiveness to the new level. Obviously there is much more to this, but I felt none of the warmth and saw none of the smiles promised in those damn slick South Africa tourism commercials. The only topic that the local whites I met on the train wanted to talk about was the mess the blacks had caused the country; there is still much tension in this land. A complicated issue, no doubt.
2. Expense of Everything: $7 for a shitty burger and soggy fries??? $65 for an overnight train ride with no heat?? $40 for a 3 hour bus ride?? This is certainly not India. I have NO CLUE how the locals survive here. The prices are crazy, way higher than the States, where the average income is at least 10x as much. The quality of services and goods received for the prices charged should be illegal. A real bummer to a budget traveler.
3. The Food: already mentioned and ranted on, but this must be the unhealthiest combination of fast food, meat patties, fried chicken, and Coca Cola ever released upon an unsuspecting populace. Again, the large asses of the women seem to be quite happy with this absurd national diet. And whats up with all the people on the train chain smoking??? People still fucking smoke??? They didnt get that memo or what??? After two weeks of trying, I have not had ONE “local” food here in South Africa. Not one, other than those damn meat pies.
4. Racism: yes, here in the “Rainbow Nation” there are such stark divisions, unbelievable inequalities, and from what I've heard, seen, and experienced, must distrust and animosity between the races. It could certainly be worse, but quite unsettling coming in thinking that the nation was truly a peaceful little cornucopia.
5. Crime: every home has its Armed Rambo Response signs, razor wire, electric fences, dogs, you name it. The fencing people are making a killing in this place!! It reminds me a lot of prison. Crime and theft are completely endemic here, and it makes you constantly have to be on guard, which makes people quite hardened, and is quite exhausting. I had the blueberry muffins stolen out of my shopping bag on the train seat, a friend had her car window broken in at a dinner party we were at the other night, and the lady in the train carriage had her bags stolen in the night. Nobody puts out lawn chairs or patio furniture despite the fact that almost everyone has a patio. Shitty. And one last thing that should go under this category: the damn Pakistani who tried to sell me, in my moment of obvious weakness, a USB cable at the train station for $42. Asshole. You know where you can stick that USB.
6. The Overwhelmingly Ostentatious Displays of Wealth: to go along with the disparities here which are quite unlike anywhere else I've seen, (and I do understand and accept the hypocrisy involved with an American pointing this out), but the wealth displays seen here and heard about are truly horrific; its as if its not enough to have 4 Lamborghinis parked at your mansion a half mile away from cardboard shacks. Come on people. Class up.
And The Ugly....
Yeah, well, not quite anything to talk about here, other than the guy who pissed all over floor of the train bathroom into which my sock-wearing compartment mate walked into in the middle of the night. Frozen pee foot popsicles?
