10.22 Kutumsang
The fog came quickly to the small stone town, as i sat watching the green hills bathed in the late day light; as i sat, watching my breath, my mind, the fog a fitting metaphor for the defilements that come to visit consciousness. How this journey came to this time in space, to this small teahouse nestled on a high Himalayan ridge, huddled in the kitchen around the hearth, the cold mountain air creeping in through the roughly hewn wooden door;
the young Sherpa boy, clad in an old blue blazer several sizes too large, blows at the waning fire through a large wooden straw, as his mother prepares a simple meal over open flame.
In 2 days of walking, the modern world feels centuries away.
10.23 Magangoth
The early morning air at 14,500ft numbs my hands; the proof seen in the layer of frost covering the rough wood planks that constitutes a bench in this remote land; the sun will warm, but it is still far away, illuminating only the golden brown peaks lining the horizon with the pale blue sky.
The young girl fetches freezing water for tea; juniper offerings waft in the silent air.
10.24 Phedi
"all thoughts in their infinite variety are utterly without substance. this is the mind of a Buddha."
-Dilgo Khyentse Rimpoche
I sit on a flat stone, overlooking the awesome green valley below, the suns rays illuminated across, slowly receding; thundering waterfalls reverberate their energies in my humble ears, the peaks of jagged stone cathedrals bath in the orange glow of dusk.
The landscape here is hallucinatory;
my mind, clear, yet overcome by the beauty of this place, in this time.
I am profoundly at peace.
10.26. Gokainsund
We crossed the high pass in the midday sun, prayer chortons festooned with prayer flags sending their messages to the gods from this holy place, asking for protection from the evil spirits that lurk in these dangerous high places. We sat in the sun at the base of a simple stone wall and watched the afternoon fog creep through the break in the massive, crumbling stone hills; over 15,000ft; my third high crossing in these mountains, and the one that instilled the most tranquility as i sat, watching the crows and hawks, flags and peaks.
A rest day now at 14,000ft; impromptu english lesson with the morning sun warming my chilled back; talking of life and its myriad struggles with the old, bent lodge owner; hiking amidst high alpine boulder fields, ringed by complete solitude, complete peace, many miles from any vestige of the 21st, let alone 20th or 19th centuries. Beautiful, fleeting moments true serenity.
"to become one with whatever one does is a true realization of The Way."
-Peter Mattheissen
30 October 2010
13 October 2010
Boudhanath.
the days pass with such simple ease in this place.
up with the sun, the offerings, temple bells, laughter of neighbors pounding chilies with mortar and pestle for the day's meals;
life beings early here.
simple reflections;
being blessed with the luxury of time, to walk slowly down the narrow, crumbling pathways,
bowing and extending a simple "namaste" ("I honor the spirit that is within you) to those passing on their own way;
time is treasured in its abundance.
I try to work with the wandering, planning mind;
focus here, on this precious moment;
inspired by the great Tibetan teachers who have walked these same narrow pathways,
I work to control the mind; to see what is true.
Unknown chatter wafts from an open window above the green courtyard;
distant laughter;
then it is gone.
"The great inspiration of the Buddha's teachings is that we must each take ultimate responsibility for the quality of our lives. When we understand that our lives are the unfolding of karmic law, that we are the heirs to our own deeds, then there grows in us a deepening sense of responsibility for how we live, the choices we make, and the actions we undertake."
-Joseph Goldstein
up with the sun, the offerings, temple bells, laughter of neighbors pounding chilies with mortar and pestle for the day's meals;
life beings early here.
simple reflections;
being blessed with the luxury of time, to walk slowly down the narrow, crumbling pathways,
bowing and extending a simple "namaste" ("I honor the spirit that is within you) to those passing on their own way;
time is treasured in its abundance.
I try to work with the wandering, planning mind;
focus here, on this precious moment;
inspired by the great Tibetan teachers who have walked these same narrow pathways,
I work to control the mind; to see what is true.
Unknown chatter wafts from an open window above the green courtyard;
distant laughter;
then it is gone.
"The great inspiration of the Buddha's teachings is that we must each take ultimate responsibility for the quality of our lives. When we understand that our lives are the unfolding of karmic law, that we are the heirs to our own deeds, then there grows in us a deepening sense of responsibility for how we live, the choices we make, and the actions we undertake."
-Joseph Goldstein
10 October 2010
Thoughts. Words.
The old Tibetan ladies, in a seated row in the early morning sun rising over the great stupa,
display the tubs of kernels in front of their colored brocades.
The kernels are an offering to the flocks of pigeons who also call this area home;
life here is precious and revered for all beings, and this is manifested moment by moment,
glance by glance, step by step.
The scents of burning juniper, wafting from ornate carved silver boxes,
fills the air.
"When the eyes and the ears are open, the leaves on the trees teach like pages from the scriptures."
-Kabir
"In order to understand our lives it is essential top understand the nature of the mind. Everything that we are, everything that we do, has its origins in the mind. What we are is the manifestation of the mind. Rarely, though, do we take the time to create a space of silence to see how this mind of ours is working."
-Jack Kornfield
"Think of what your experience is from a moment to moment perspective: a sound, a sight, a thought, a sensation, and emotion, a smell, a taste. Moment to moment, these experiences arise and vanish, are being born and dying; the very nature of this process is constant, immediate, and continuous change. There is no possibility of holding on, although sometimes we try very hard to do so."
"We believe happiness lies in the experience of pleasurable feelings, ignoring their fleeting, unfulfilling nature. This ignorance feeds the craving in the mind for more and more pleasant feeling. And although our desire for pleasant feeling is continually being gratified, we are never fully satisfied, precisely because of the fleetingness and insubstantiability of these feelings...Its like trying to quench your thirst by drinking ocean water. The more you drink, the thirstier you become."
-Joseph Goldstein
display the tubs of kernels in front of their colored brocades.
The kernels are an offering to the flocks of pigeons who also call this area home;
life here is precious and revered for all beings, and this is manifested moment by moment,
glance by glance, step by step.
The scents of burning juniper, wafting from ornate carved silver boxes,
fills the air.
"When the eyes and the ears are open, the leaves on the trees teach like pages from the scriptures."
-Kabir
"In order to understand our lives it is essential top understand the nature of the mind. Everything that we are, everything that we do, has its origins in the mind. What we are is the manifestation of the mind. Rarely, though, do we take the time to create a space of silence to see how this mind of ours is working."
-Jack Kornfield
"Think of what your experience is from a moment to moment perspective: a sound, a sight, a thought, a sensation, and emotion, a smell, a taste. Moment to moment, these experiences arise and vanish, are being born and dying; the very nature of this process is constant, immediate, and continuous change. There is no possibility of holding on, although sometimes we try very hard to do so."
"We believe happiness lies in the experience of pleasurable feelings, ignoring their fleeting, unfulfilling nature. This ignorance feeds the craving in the mind for more and more pleasant feeling. And although our desire for pleasant feeling is continually being gratified, we are never fully satisfied, precisely because of the fleetingness and insubstantiability of these feelings...Its like trying to quench your thirst by drinking ocean water. The more you drink, the thirstier you become."
-Joseph Goldstein
08 October 2010
Nepal.
10.7.10 Kathmandu...."Back in The Valley"
As the sleek metallic jet, anachronistic to the simplicity beneath and around, banked eastward into the rising sun, the jagged white teeth of the mighty Himalaya, the "abode of the snows" fell into full, marvelous view; white flanks shimmering in the thin mountain air; feeding sedimented rivers of brown into the foothills and beyond onto the great, baked plains of India, like crooked fingers extended from the roof of the world; the checkered heartland of the country, verdant shades of green, the full spectrum cut squarely into the flat plains and terraced in oblong beauty into the foothills surrounding the ancient valley. The green meant harvest, of plenty; of survival in an often harsh and unforgiving land; this sight made my heart warm and brought a smile to my jet-lagged lips; sustenance for the people, sustenance for my heart as well. Crossing over the hills, mountains in any other land, into the ancient valley, as the plane lost altitude, details became finer, weaving into reality with memories rushing back to the present; broken, low buildings cast over dusty, potholed streets; hilltop shrines covered in prayer flags sending blessings to the corners of the universe; chaos; brilliance; disrepair; beauty; the subtle exoticism that comes so effortlessly with this land, even after so many visits and so many other travels. The first time I crossed this path, 6 years ago, marked the beginning of a long journey, of a changed course in life, of questions that needed to be answered, of a restless mind and soul; I smile as the plane prepares for landing, as the ancient cars and motorbikes plying the dusty, narrow roads come into view, weaving, screaming, in their typical Nepali madness, and like that, I am back, I have arrived, I am home.
10.8.10 Boudhanath. Kathmandu.
Outside the early morning window,
the crows cry mercilessly.
The sun begins its distant rise over the jagged white peaks,
a small bell tolls rhythmically from some unknown shrine room;
framing the day in this far away land;
the entirely of the passing show brings a smile,
as the sun slowly warms my face.
"Some day you will die. Lying on your sick bed about to breath your last breath,
you will be assailed by every kind of pain.
Your mind will be filled with fears and anxieties. And you will not know what to do or where to go.
Only then you will realize that you have not practiced well.
Impermanence does not hesitate. Death will not wait.
You will not be able to extend your life by even a second.
How many thousands of more times will you have to pass through the gates of birth and death.
If these words are challenging, even insulting, let them be an encouragement for your change.
Practice heroically. Do not accumulate unnecessary possessions.
Don’t give up. Still your mind. End wrong perceptions.
Concentrate and do not run after objects of your senses.
Be determined to not let your days and months pass by wastefully.
- Zen Master Guishan
"When desire arises, it is a force that pulls us out of the moment into our imagination. An antidote is to reflect on impermanence, even on death. How much will fulfilling this desire mean at the end of your life? Recognize that no matter how many times we get what we want, it always passes. It's endless." -Joseph Goldstein
you will be assailed by every kind of pain.
Your mind will be filled with fears and anxieties. And you will not know what to do or where to go.
Only then you will realize that you have not practiced well.
Impermanence does not hesitate. Death will not wait.
You will not be able to extend your life by even a second.
How many thousands of more times will you have to pass through the gates of birth and death.
If these words are challenging, even insulting, let them be an encouragement for your change.
Practice heroically. Do not accumulate unnecessary possessions.
Don’t give up. Still your mind. End wrong perceptions.
Concentrate and do not run after objects of your senses.
Be determined to not let your days and months pass by wastefully.
- Zen Master Guishan
"When desire arises, it is a force that pulls us out of the moment into our imagination. An antidote is to reflect on impermanence, even on death. How much will fulfilling this desire mean at the end of your life? Recognize that no matter how many times we get what we want, it always passes. It's endless." -Joseph Goldstein
05 October 2010
thai writings.
Tonsai, Thailand 9.18.10
Is freedom really possible in this life? True freedom, freedom from suffering, freedom from attachments, freedom to choose our own paths, to truly live presently, to truly offer compassion and non-attached love to those around? Sometimes these qualities seem to present themselves, they grow close to my heart, they appear as a good friend in the evening when i sit on the floor of my darkened hut and watch the breath; they appear in the morning as a drink a cup of coffee, feeling the ocean breeze on my skin, as the caffeine permeates my cells. I sit here now, legs up on the rough wood railing, my range hammock flapping in the breeze, green superimposed on the brilliantly textured white limestone cathedrals that frame this special place. It has been a week since I arrived. A week of freedom, a week of encounters, moments, smiles, a week of living in simplicity, but also in a bit of a bubble; but this is ok, it is an acknowledged bubble, a bubble of choice, a bubble of necessity, as my third month living out of my pack draws to a close, I needed a place to unpack, to settle in, to know those around, to not be a ghost passing through; there is much satisfaction in occasional sedentary rooting; with the satisfaction that this, too, will end. While it lasts, while I am here, it is brilliant, soothing, balm for the soul, great food for the stomach, rock for the hands, and mindfulness for the body. Is freedom possible? In certain times, in certain places, I think so. Life continues its unfolding, in the most open and honest way possible, unique....
"For you to be here now, trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and curiously obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. For the next many years, these tiny particles will uncomplainingly engage in all the billions of deft, cooperative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely agreeable but generally under appreciated state known as existence. Why atoms take this trouble is a bit of a puzzle. Being you is not a gratifying experience at the atomic level. For all their devoted attention, your atoms don't actually care about you-indeed, dont even know you are there. They dont even know they are there. They are mindless particles, after all, and not even themselves alive. Yet somehow, for the period of your existence, they will answer to a simple, rigid impulse: to keep you you."
-Bill Bryson, on the impermanent flow of the atomic universe
"The whole art of living a meditative life is to keep a beginner's mind, to keep a mind where, with each experience, at each time we sit down, we are willing to discover what is actually going to happen this hour, not what happened yesterday, or what will happen tomorrow. It is a wonderful way to live."
-Jack Kornfield, on the Beginner's Mind
Tonsai, Thailand 9.26.10
The days slip by in a peculiar normalcy in this sheltered reality; I fully accept that these days will soon pass and try to stay focused throughout the day, into the night as I sit in my darkened bungalow, observing my breath, observing the sounds that come and go, the thoughts that parade themselves, as I lay in bed, on my back, hands crossed, observation continuing until sleep takes the mind. I make time for connections, make time to climb with others, to share, to laugh, to observe, but also take care to not get lost in the endless chatter, take care to take the time to work on my own mind, to truly use the time and the space that I have been gifted with to building something lasting within. The sunsets over the Andaman Sea, cliff faces reflecting the orange and pink glows, the simple breakfasts eaten with legs dangling over the incoming tides; hiking through overgrown jungle paths and scaling cliffs overlooking a true tropical paradise; sitting, feeling the smallest breeze on my heated face and naked torso, feeling at solitary ease after so many months of motion; working through a small pot of coffee with devoted attention, my book, my journal, eyes open, savoring all. And soon, this too, will change, as does everything.
"Many people pass through life driven by fear, greed, aggression, or endless grasping after security, affection, power, sex, wealth, pleasure, and fame. This endless cycle of seeking is what Buddhism calls Samsara. Its rare that we take the time to understand this life that we are given to work with. We're born, we grow older, and eventually we die; we enjoy, we suffer, we wake, we sleep-how quickly it all slips away. Awareness of the suffering involved in this process of life-of being born, growing old, and dying, led the Buddha to question deeply how it comes about and how we can find freedom. That was the Buddha's question. That was where he began his practice. To understand ourselves and our lives is the point of meditation; to understand and to be free."
-Jack Kornfield
9.27.10 Tonsai, Thailand
People come, people go; on their own journeys, their own paths, their own
joys and sorrows , tales and experience, light and shadows, waking consciousness and dreamy sleep;
and i wish them well.
The sun rises, casts its spell and shadows, and sets, illuminating the earth and life, and then vanishing from view, dragging with it the ever changing tones of the day;
I bow to its presence, I bask in its glow.
Experiences arise and pass away;
enjoyed while they last, nevertheless they will always become just a memory, a faint light, a story told in passing, leaving behind only shadows;
I smile in their remembrance, and cast my mind back to the present.
The days come and go,
sometimes fast, sometimes slow;
with the ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows of life, the never ending parade of thought, experience, tales, memories, sensations, light, darkness;
trying to grow with each, remembering that even this growth, this knowledge strived for, will also pass.
wondering, have i lived well? wisely? have i loved well? i sit, and bow to it all.
10.3.10 Krabi Hospital, General Ward, Evening
The young girl, in her second act of generosity and kindness, brought over a fresh hospital sheet and tucked it around my bare legs, offering a warm smile as she returned back to her sleeping, wounded father across the aisle of mismatched hospital beds. An hour or so, before, she had brought over a blue box of milk, had startled me a bit from my dazed drifting, lying on the hard bed, exposed wooden plank, broken drawers on the side, pondering my peculiar situation. A beautiful offering to a stranger, in a strange place. Sitting here, the old fans whirring in the humid, tropical air, the ancient machines running with familiar beeps and groans, the families, mostly extended, always with children, as they seem to bring the most smiles from the mainly older patients in the ward; and myself, lying topless in a white hospital sarong, trying to center my breathing and mind amidst this starkly humbling turn of events, noticing with some trepidation the fleeting nature, the uncertainty of things. Far off the tourist trail, they cannot get too many Westerners here, as nobody on the staff speaks English, and all the others here can do is smile and nod; confronted with he harshness and beauty and fragility of life faced by the poor and working class in a distant land; these generous souls gathered around, showing the true currency of these lands, the currency of family, of bonds, of love; the currency that truly matters in times of sickness and death. I pray for myself, and for those around me.
Is freedom really possible in this life? True freedom, freedom from suffering, freedom from attachments, freedom to choose our own paths, to truly live presently, to truly offer compassion and non-attached love to those around? Sometimes these qualities seem to present themselves, they grow close to my heart, they appear as a good friend in the evening when i sit on the floor of my darkened hut and watch the breath; they appear in the morning as a drink a cup of coffee, feeling the ocean breeze on my skin, as the caffeine permeates my cells. I sit here now, legs up on the rough wood railing, my range hammock flapping in the breeze, green superimposed on the brilliantly textured white limestone cathedrals that frame this special place. It has been a week since I arrived. A week of freedom, a week of encounters, moments, smiles, a week of living in simplicity, but also in a bit of a bubble; but this is ok, it is an acknowledged bubble, a bubble of choice, a bubble of necessity, as my third month living out of my pack draws to a close, I needed a place to unpack, to settle in, to know those around, to not be a ghost passing through; there is much satisfaction in occasional sedentary rooting; with the satisfaction that this, too, will end. While it lasts, while I am here, it is brilliant, soothing, balm for the soul, great food for the stomach, rock for the hands, and mindfulness for the body. Is freedom possible? In certain times, in certain places, I think so. Life continues its unfolding, in the most open and honest way possible, unique....
"For you to be here now, trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and curiously obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. For the next many years, these tiny particles will uncomplainingly engage in all the billions of deft, cooperative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely agreeable but generally under appreciated state known as existence. Why atoms take this trouble is a bit of a puzzle. Being you is not a gratifying experience at the atomic level. For all their devoted attention, your atoms don't actually care about you-indeed, dont even know you are there. They dont even know they are there. They are mindless particles, after all, and not even themselves alive. Yet somehow, for the period of your existence, they will answer to a simple, rigid impulse: to keep you you."
-Bill Bryson, on the impermanent flow of the atomic universe
"The whole art of living a meditative life is to keep a beginner's mind, to keep a mind where, with each experience, at each time we sit down, we are willing to discover what is actually going to happen this hour, not what happened yesterday, or what will happen tomorrow. It is a wonderful way to live."
-Jack Kornfield, on the Beginner's Mind
Tonsai, Thailand 9.26.10
The days slip by in a peculiar normalcy in this sheltered reality; I fully accept that these days will soon pass and try to stay focused throughout the day, into the night as I sit in my darkened bungalow, observing my breath, observing the sounds that come and go, the thoughts that parade themselves, as I lay in bed, on my back, hands crossed, observation continuing until sleep takes the mind. I make time for connections, make time to climb with others, to share, to laugh, to observe, but also take care to not get lost in the endless chatter, take care to take the time to work on my own mind, to truly use the time and the space that I have been gifted with to building something lasting within. The sunsets over the Andaman Sea, cliff faces reflecting the orange and pink glows, the simple breakfasts eaten with legs dangling over the incoming tides; hiking through overgrown jungle paths and scaling cliffs overlooking a true tropical paradise; sitting, feeling the smallest breeze on my heated face and naked torso, feeling at solitary ease after so many months of motion; working through a small pot of coffee with devoted attention, my book, my journal, eyes open, savoring all. And soon, this too, will change, as does everything.
"Many people pass through life driven by fear, greed, aggression, or endless grasping after security, affection, power, sex, wealth, pleasure, and fame. This endless cycle of seeking is what Buddhism calls Samsara. Its rare that we take the time to understand this life that we are given to work with. We're born, we grow older, and eventually we die; we enjoy, we suffer, we wake, we sleep-how quickly it all slips away. Awareness of the suffering involved in this process of life-of being born, growing old, and dying, led the Buddha to question deeply how it comes about and how we can find freedom. That was the Buddha's question. That was where he began his practice. To understand ourselves and our lives is the point of meditation; to understand and to be free."
-Jack Kornfield
9.27.10 Tonsai, Thailand
People come, people go; on their own journeys, their own paths, their own
joys and sorrows , tales and experience, light and shadows, waking consciousness and dreamy sleep;
and i wish them well.
The sun rises, casts its spell and shadows, and sets, illuminating the earth and life, and then vanishing from view, dragging with it the ever changing tones of the day;
I bow to its presence, I bask in its glow.
Experiences arise and pass away;
enjoyed while they last, nevertheless they will always become just a memory, a faint light, a story told in passing, leaving behind only shadows;
I smile in their remembrance, and cast my mind back to the present.
The days come and go,
sometimes fast, sometimes slow;
with the ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows of life, the never ending parade of thought, experience, tales, memories, sensations, light, darkness;
trying to grow with each, remembering that even this growth, this knowledge strived for, will also pass.
wondering, have i lived well? wisely? have i loved well? i sit, and bow to it all.
10.3.10 Krabi Hospital, General Ward, Evening
The young girl, in her second act of generosity and kindness, brought over a fresh hospital sheet and tucked it around my bare legs, offering a warm smile as she returned back to her sleeping, wounded father across the aisle of mismatched hospital beds. An hour or so, before, she had brought over a blue box of milk, had startled me a bit from my dazed drifting, lying on the hard bed, exposed wooden plank, broken drawers on the side, pondering my peculiar situation. A beautiful offering to a stranger, in a strange place. Sitting here, the old fans whirring in the humid, tropical air, the ancient machines running with familiar beeps and groans, the families, mostly extended, always with children, as they seem to bring the most smiles from the mainly older patients in the ward; and myself, lying topless in a white hospital sarong, trying to center my breathing and mind amidst this starkly humbling turn of events, noticing with some trepidation the fleeting nature, the uncertainty of things. Far off the tourist trail, they cannot get too many Westerners here, as nobody on the staff speaks English, and all the others here can do is smile and nod; confronted with he harshness and beauty and fragility of life faced by the poor and working class in a distant land; these generous souls gathered around, showing the true currency of these lands, the currency of family, of bonds, of love; the currency that truly matters in times of sickness and death. I pray for myself, and for those around me.
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